Stereotypes Step Aside

I like NASCAR. There I said it. I own it.

I love being at the track on race day.  I actually get stressed out when my driver isn't doing well or has a bad pit stop (see - I know the lingo!).

It all started when the speedway came to Kansas. My dad and his best friend wanted to see a race so I got us tickets and we went. I picked a driver that day - Jimmie Johnson #48 - and he's been my driver ever since. He happens to be my dad's favorite driver too. Jimmie took 5th place that day and won the Sprint Cup that year. I have been hooked ever since.

And yes - I attended the race this past weekend. The Kansas Speedway has a new surface with higher degree turns on 2 and 4. It was exciting with a record amount of cautions (wrecks)! Last year I went to the race by myself...and loved it. Someone actually asked me if I was Jimmie Johnson's wife! I almost kissed the man, but instead I graciously just answered no and whispered "I wish" under my breath. That made my day.

The actually point of my blog is this. There are a lot of stereotypes about NASCAR, NASCAR drivers, NASCAR fans, etc. Until you have BEEN TO A RACE, you may want to hold off on the stereotyping, put them on pause and actually check one out. You will be amazed.

These are things I bet you didn't know if you have never experienced NASCAR race in real life:

• NASCAR Drivers are some of the most selected celebrities by MakeAWish kids - and they are wonderful with the children before the races.
• There is always respect paid to the military/armed forces before the race.
• There is always a beautiful prayer said before the drivers get in their cars.
• There is usually a fly over during the Star Spangled Banner (and teary fans)
• During Driver Introductions there are always Drivers giving checks to charities/foundations

I am just saying... give it a whirl. You will be pleasantly surprised. If this Banana Republic/Ann Taylor-wearing, vodka martini-drinking, church-attending/God-fearing, sushi-loving, girly--girl can dig it...so can you!

Tears in a Bottle

Today I heard on the radio (K-Love) that God has a bottle full of my tears and that some day my bottle will be empty. When I join Him. No more tears will fall.

I look forward to no more tears. But the idea that God catches all of my tears and keeps them, saves every drop of water that has fallen over the years; tears representing sadness and joys. It is overwhelming, yet I feel treasured.

Do you remember the last time someone wiped a tear from your face? Was it a friend, a parent, a loved one, a child, a significant other? Or did you just let the tears fall from your face the last time you cried because there was no one there to wipe them and you couldn't bear the thought of wiping your own tears one more time?

The thought of God catching my tears in a bottle is comforting. Loving. Forgiving. Understanding. Unconditional. Compassionate. Peaceful.

I want a piece of heaven on earth. Someone to wipe away my tears until no more tears fall.

Fresh Start

You can have a fresh start any day you choose. START.

For those from my generation this is for you, "Wonder twin powers activate, in form of... a FRESH START.   

Why do I need a fresh start? I do.
I am not complaining about my life. I am simply saying RESTART. JUMP START. LET'S START. Just Start.

Some people have mid-life crises. They are heartbreaking to watch. I'll pass on having one of those. Seriously. PASS. The first one I witnessed scarred me. It was my algebra teacher in High School. Mr. H had one. He divorced his wife of many years, bought a red sports car, and married a student in my school. She came into the classroom one day and asked Mr. H if he had done her homework. He hadn't. She threw a box of compasses at him, left our classroom and proceeded to get in a girl-fight right outside of the classroom. Classy to have to put your wife in detention.

I have seen more mid-life crisis' as of late in the form of affairs and divorce. Sadness. I don't want to be mixed up in any of that. My invisible shield is up. Keep all mid-life crisis crap away from this girl. I have survived and risen above way too much these past few years to be knocked back down by others' brokenness and baggage. We all have it...but GET THROUGH it; get your own FRESH START too. It's only fair.

This is what I want MY fresh start to look like: an unexpected new relationship with a man of character, who is funny, would enjoy some weekend get aways....and that is only the beginning of the story of my fresh start. BEGIN.

Ask And You Shall Receive

The last serious relationship I was in ended badly... to say the least.

I was in love. Perhaps the notion that I was in love with the idea of being in love is probably more accurate. It was my first relationship since my mom died and my divorce.  I thought this man was a gift. There were red flags. I tend to be attracted to the broken. But I would love him more! So I said a prayer each night to God: if this is not the man for me - show me; take him away. God had to show me BIG. Nothing small would do. One day He walked me right over to the man's house and I walked in on him having "relations" with a married women. I left. Got in my car and right then and there thanked God for showing me what I needed to know.

God has taken care of me since then too. Just tonight I was at happy hour and met Dan. Dan was handsome (beautiful blue eyes) and charming. We talked for awhile and then it was time for him to go and he didn't ask for my number. He did ask if I'd be at October Fest later in the evening, but not for my contact information. I was a little disappointed; I thought we connected.  As soon as he left, Ron, a regular, asked what I thought of Dan. I told him that I had just met him. Ron asked if I gave him my number and I replied that I had not. Ron told me that Dan had severe anger issues and gave me examples of situations he had witnessed. Relief came over me. Again, I thanked God that he protected me from another potentially bad situation.

So for infinity and beyond: God, if this man is not for me, show me; take him away.

Peace on earth

Each year instead of a New Year's Resolution I choose a word; a word I try to live by, achieve, pray about, desire for myself. October is around the corner. I reflect on my 2012 word.

Peace.

Inner peace. Peace with God. Peace with myself. Peace of mind.

One thing I have learned these past few years is that when I select a word - God makes me work for it; 2010 was cleanse and 2011 was joy. I misplaced my joy and learned a hard lesson last year. I tried to find joy through another human being instead of through God first and then myself. Not only did I fall hard, I kept going back for more. There was no joy until I figured out where unconditional love really comes from and that is the only place true joy really exists.

 As for peace, I am curious to see how the year will end. I tend to have high expectations, be full of hope and have full-on faith about relationships, job stuff, friendships...all things really... and then get really disappointed by someone or something and crash. This does not bring inner peace. I love my faith in people and love is always restored, but my heart is getting tired.

I am letting go, letting God, and letting peace of mind take over. He has a plan for me. And it is good.

Sleeping single in a double bed

I think I had Barbara Mandrell's 8-track with that song on it in the 70's. Sleeping single in a double bed. I had no idea what I was singing. Barbara was my hero. And my first concert.

Now I know what that means...yes I do. 

When I was married I slept on the right side of the bed. I don't remember why. Maybe he preferred the left? Is the man supposed to be closer to the door for safety? Funny how I was the one to check out the noises. Now I sleep on the left side. I am still checking out the noises.  Actually - to be honest I sleep diagonally. I take up the whole bed.

Why not?

I think for the right man I can shut the diagonal off...and sleep in the middle.

swimsuit envy

Today I went to Blue Springs Beach off Lakewood Boulevard. I wasn't aware Blue Springs had a beach!?!

It is Labor Day and it is the first time all summer that I put on swimsuit (yikes!). Why the fear? Why the trepidation? Let's all swim in pants! I saw it today. Actually I saw lots today. I am not feeling as bad about the swimsuit issue.

Too bad it's Labor Day and all the pools and lakes are now closed for the year just as I got my courage.  I will try to start earlier next year and maybe do a few sit-ups.