Happiness is hair salon on a Tuesday

At the salon getting my hair done. 

No phones are ringing. 

Music is good. 

Catching up on social media. 

Pondering whether to cut my hair off. 

Glancing at magazines on stand. 

A fun, sassy, fresh look may be just what I need. 

I also need ability to wear ponytail. 

Glad I ate a protein bar on the way over here or I would be hungry and would probably cut my hair short. 

Protein bars save lives. 

And she let it be so.

And she let it be so.

I see power in these words.

     And SHE let it be so.
          And she LET it be so.
               And she let IT be so.
                    And she let it BE so.
                         And she let it be SO.

Just picture the woman we are talking about here. She has a sophisticated way about her. Proud, but not too proud. Humble. Inner strength that perhaps goes unnoticed. She's savvy. She can walk away if needed. She's also dependable. I like her. Women everywhere want to emulate her.

She has a gift. She has the will, the ability, the intelligence, the grace, the edge...
     to let people, places and things go....
          if they no longer suit her
               and she does not look back.
                   
She embraces life and the choices she makes.

Mom

This Sunday is Mother's Day.

I miss my mom.

Pieces of her:

I loved that she called me "Sweets."
She always asked me to do her hair when I was home.
According to her my eyes are my best feature and I shouldn't always have glasses on my face.
The Easter Bunny and Santa Claus still came into my late 30s.
I absolutely loved road-tripping with her.
She cried with me when I learned I could not have children.
Her novels are amazing and deserve to be published.
She took me to get my eyebrows waxed when I was 13-years old and I am still having it done!
She encouraged me to never settle.
She sang to me and my sister every night when we were little.
I cherish and miss our daily phone calls.
My mom was a strong Christian woman.
She talked with her hands.
She gave me a sister.
She lost her parents on the same day.
She was an extraordinary teacher - in the classroom and at home.
She made home-made play-doh and melted our crayon stubs to make new ones.
She visited me in Kansas City - even when I lived in a "shit hole."
Her laugh was contagious.
Her grand-kids were the center of her world.
She made sure we got a new doll every Christmas.
She loved licorice.

My mom - a blessing to many! I look forward to seeing her again some day. Until then, I hope others see her kindness and grace through me.

A brave heart

I want a brave heart.

I see flashes of a brave heart in me at times. Maybe I am growing a brave heart. Many of my friends have brave hearts. They put themselves out in the dating world and go for it. Admirable really.

I step out there once in awhile. I do. Then I withdraw. Repeat. But I noticed that my withdrawal periods get longer and longer. My heart is tired.

I have put this in God's hands. I am going to be still. I am waiting to find the man God has created just for me. This guy will be so focused on God that the only reason he looks up and sees me is because God tells him, "there she is."

My brave heart comes from knowing that God is control.

Insomnia insights

It's12:13 am on December 1, 2013. I am awake because I don't sleep through the night anymore. I love sleep. This is killing me softly. The other night my sister gave me prayer requests "since I wake up a lot" and she knows I pray when I am awake and cannot sleep.

Since my blog is called Randoms, I thought I should post during this sleepless night. What random thoughts occur when I can't sleep? Probably nothing brilliant or earth shattering. Most likely more brutally honest thoughts straight from the heart.

To all the people with moms still on earth -
Call them every day or at least a few times a week. I called mine every day on the way to work and I miss our talks. I know the advice they sometimes give is unwanted or the support you seek is not always shared, but I learned that sometimes moms have an internal struggle going on inside themselves when you are hurting or making a big decision. They want to fix your problems, they don't want to see you make same mistakes they did and most of all they want to protect you. Moms want the best for us even though they aren't always the best to us.